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I Wish My Dad

The Power of Vulnerable Conversations between Fathers and Sons

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

"I Wish My Dad . . .": what a simple way to start a sentence. But those four words hold the power to heal wounds men may not even know they carry.

From author, speaker, and social entrepreneur Romal Tune and his son, Jordan, comes this tour de force for fathers and sons about healing the unfinished business between them. What do sons wish they had received from their fathers? What might honest, healing conversations between fathers and sons look like?

Tune was raised mostly without a father. He and his dad connected briefly when he was a teenager, and then had no relationship for decades. After years of inner work via therapy and faith, Tune realized that neither he nor his dad possessed what they needed to live up to each other's expectations. He began to wonder if other men also longed to have vulnerable conversations with their fathers—about good memories, about pain, and about what their relationship could still become.

So he sat down with seventeen men of diverse ages, ethnicities, and socioeconomic backgrounds for "I Wish My Dad" conversations. In the pages of this book, he invites us into the room as the men unpack relationships with their fathers, learn to work through emotional pain, recount moments of tenderness and care, and describe risks they took to heal and connect with their fathers. Tune also offers us strategies and prompts for initiating our own "I Wish My Dad" conversations. And with no pretense, he and Jordan recount their own "I Wish My Dad" interview, which helped them chart the way toward a transformed relationship.

I Wish My Dad helps fathers, and their sons move through the past to find deep connection in the present. The lessons in these pages will free us to have—and become—the kind of dad we wish for.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      July 4, 2022
      Mental health advocate Romal Tune (God’s Graffiti) and his son Jordan explore the role and impact of fathers in these heartfelt reflections. Each chapter summarizes a chat with one of Tune’s friends or colleagues that centers on what each son wished for from his relationship with his father. Tune’s former coworker David, who was five when his father died of a cerebral hemorrhage, wishes his dad would’ve taken better care of his health; Simon, a friend, “never felt like he knew his dad because he was so emotionally guarded” and tells Tune, “I wish my dad put feelings before finances”; and Jorge, a pastor, wishes his father had been able to be vulnerable with the family. Many of the tales convey heartrending trauma—one man watched his dad die in a car accident and others are victims of abuse—but several of the men report repairing relationships: “Fathers never lose the opportunity to make changes,” Tune writes. While many of the voices sound the same (reasonable, reflective, and self-aware), and the format gets a little repetitive, the takeaways at the end of each chapter are rich with insight. These thoughtful conversations offer a powerful look at “the cycle” of toxic masculinity.

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Languages

  • English

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